Where Has the Respect Gone

Dear Dad,

Being a teacher is hard. The actual teaching isn’t, but everything else is. Sometimes, I wonder if I’d find it less taxing, less exasperating if I was younger. Not because of age, but because things seem to have changed so much since I was in school. Back in the eighties, there was an expectation that students behave in school. A teacher’s job was to teach. On the rare occasion that discipline became a problem, the administrators took care of it. Now, in some schools, teachers are expected to magically be able to get students to behave when they refuse to sit in their seats and be quiet. Even when I didn’t like a teacher, and there were many I disliked, I was expected to respect them. I was expected to give my teachers my undivided attention. When a teacher spoke, students listened. Today, some students won’t hesitate to say “F-you,” to a teacher that holds them accountable.

Also, when I was in school, if students failed, they were either held back or sent to summer school. Now, despite constant testing to see how students are doing academically, they are promoted even if they can’t read on grade level. So, one might ask, why test at all? Since COVID, it's gotten worse. To appease parents who were displeased with virtual learning, some districts—like the one in which I work—decided the quality of student work no longer mattered. Students were pushed ahead with their peers even if they didn’t pass. The greatest lesson learned from this is that students don’t have to do any work. They don’t have to complete assignments or pass tests because they will advance to the next grade regardless of how little information they absorb or retain. 

Of course, this contributes to poor student behavior. When students can’t read or write, they act out to avoid doing work that is too difficult for them. Besides, they know it doesn’t matter if they pay attention and do what they’re told. They’ve already seen that poor grades don’t matter. Teaching students who don’t care, teaching students who are not respectful or know how to be in school is exhausting. You raised me to be respectful, to do well in school, to listen when my teacher spoke, to study hard, and to apply myself. That was the world in which you raised me, now there are days I feel like I am a foreigner in someone else’s world. I don’t know what to make of it or how to survive. Is there any other profession—that requires a university degree—where emotional abuse is part of the job?

And the students' poor behavior, their enhanced sense of entitlement extends beyond the classroom. Either they don’t know the laws that dictate certain aspects of society or, again, they feel they are too entitled, too special for the laws to apply to them. Dismissal at school is chaos. Students exit the building en masse, and have no respect for traffic laws. They jay walk, avoid crosswalks, and disregard the lights. More than once, I’ve nearly hit a student because they jump out into traffic expecting cars to stop for them. I’ve had kids stand in front of my car, and glare at me even though I have the green light. Out of concern for the safety of the students, I spoke to one of the assistant principals once about this behavior. His response was that I needed to be extra mindful because if I hit a student it would be my fault. Why do administrators continue to excuse poor student behavior and deflect responsibility? 

On Tuesday, as I turned onto Convery Boulevard, I nearly hit students—again—becuase they were crossing in the middle of the street, against the light. I honked, so they were aware of the oncoming cars. (It wasn’t just me.) But because I had the audacity to honk, to call out their unsafe, entitled behavior, one student ran over to me, and pitched his drink at my car. It slammed into my driver’s side window. He threw it so hard that the plastic cracked and stuck to the car. I don’t know what student it was. He’s not one of mine. By the time I pulled over, grabbed my phone, and tried to get a picture, he had run away.

I am disgusted with the behavior of many of my students. But even more, I’m disgusted with the system that has enabled the behavior to persist. Due to the incident, and the fact that my anxiety spiked, I called out sick the following day. 

You once convinced me that teaching was a great profession. Maybe thirty years ago that was the case. Now, maybe I just needed to find a different district to shift my perspective. 

I miss you.