Eagle Court of Honor

There are still days I miss Dad, days when his death weighs heavily upon me, his absence gaping wide, threatening to paralyze me. Sunday was one of those days. It was the day we held my son’s Eagle Court of Honor, and even though Dad hated driving into New Jersey, he would have done so on Sunday with a smile, excited to be part of his grandson’s special day. 

Dad couldn’t be there, but it was important to G3 to have his uncle—who is also an Eagle Scout—and his grandmother there. For that reason alone, we opted to have his Court of Honor the weekend before Thanksgiving. My brother lives in Nashville, but he always travels to New York for the holidays. Having the event this weekend meant he had to leave a few days earlier than he would normally have left, but since he was coming anyway, there was no extra travel, which was a bonus since long road trips are difficult with an aging dog and a restless, over exuberant kitten. I also decided on Sunday, instead of Saturday, to give him an extra day to get here. Figuring he’d need it since he makes frequent stops for his four-legged companions.

My brother left Nashville after work on Friday and expected to arrive in New York City sometime in the late evening on Saturday. But the gods were against him. Somewhere, in the middle of mountainous Virginia, his clutch gave out and the car refused to accelerate. Pushing on was impossible. He coasted down a hill into a town with an abundance of mechanic shops. Allegedly, lots of cars break down there, so finding a place to fix the car was easy enough. Unfortunately, it was Saturday, which meant the shops were closed. Serendipitously, one mechanic showed up to do paperwork and actually tried to get his cousin to come in to help work on the car, but his cousin couldn’t do it. My brother, determined to get to his nephew’s Court of Honor, left his car behind to be fixed at a future date, and rented a car to continue his drive. I offered to let him and his pets stay with us on Saturday—I’m a bit closer than my mom—but he was intent on getting to New York. He must have stopped somewhere to nap because he didn’t arrive at mom’s until around 9:00 on Sunday morning. He had enough time to shower and get dressed before getting back in the car, turning it around, and coming to New Jersey with mom. Miraculously, they made it just in time for the ceremony. 

While my brother and mother were making their way to Somerville, we—my spouse, my son, and I—arrived at the church where all of Troop 84’s meetings are held so that we could set up. The plan was to hold the ceremony in the Sanctuary and the reception downstairs in the basement. However, when we arrived, we discovered that we couldn’t be in the Sanctuary until three o’clock—two hours later than we were scheduled to start. When I made arrangements for the Court of Honor, I had to work with the troop’s Committee Chair. Back in October, she told me she reserved the space for us and that we could utilize it between noon and five o’clock on the afternoon we requested. Yesterday, we discovered this was NOT the case. My spouse spoke to the people running the church and discovered that the Committee Chair lied to us. She hadn’t even put in the request for the space until November 18, five days before the event was due to take place. At that time, she was told of the conflict, but she did not convey it to us. We were furious.

It was not our first negative experience with the Committee Chair. A year earlier, she had accused my son—without a shred of evidence—of spraying Lysol in the faces of younger scouts. She then launched a campaign to have him removed from his leadership position—possibly because she was bitter that my son defeated her son in the election for Senior Patrol Leader. In the process, she sullied his reputation and diluted his authority with the other scouts. An adult, who behaves in such a manner toward a child, should not be permitted to be part of an organization that is supposed to provide a safe space for minors. But, despite the complaint we filed against her, she continues to retain her position.

The debacle with the Sanctuary was her second attempt to hurt my son. Or, perhaps, she heard of our complaint and this was her attempt at vengeance. Luckily for us, the church basement had not been double booked. Therefore, we were able to pivot and set up chairs to host the ceremony in the same space we were hosting the reception.

Despite my brother’s nightmare on the road and the Committee Chair’s vindictiveness, G3’s Court of Honor was a great success. The Mayor of Somerville, a former Mayor of Somerville, a Councilwoman from Somerville, and the Mayor from Raritan were all in attendance. G3’s uncle arrived in time to begin the ceremony with a reading, and G3’s friend, the current Assistant Senior Patrol Leader, did an excellent job as the Master of Ceremonies. The former Scoutmaster said a few words recounting G3’s scouting experiences, highlighting the fact that G3 was a dedicated scout who did things his way, regardless of troop precedent. He then presented G3 with his Eagle pin. 

As per tradition, G3 presented me and my spouse with the mother pins. Before doing so, he said a few words thanking us for all we do for him. It made me smile. Next, also as per tradition, he presented the mentor pin to the adult leader who he felt helped him most along his scouting journey. Before naming the person to whom he was awarding the pin, he gave a brief speech honoring some of the leaders he had throughout his ten years in scouting, leaders who made scouting fun, those he looked up to as role models, and those who helped him do better. He said:

“My journey through scouts has been a long one, yet it already feels like a fond memory, a memory I shall retain until I am an old man looking back on my life. I will especially remember the overnighters where friendships developed, and the meetings where skills were enhanced. 

To start off, I want to extend thanks to everyone in this troop. Whether you are older or younger than I, you helped create a community where trips and meetings would not feel the same without you. My grandfather always said the friendships you make in scouts are friendships for a lifetime. While I have no way of knowing if this is true, I know for sure there are relationships I wish to maintain. 

Before I award the mentor pin, I would like to recognize the adult leaders who have helped me on my journey. For my first few formative years of scouts, back when I was a Cub Scout, there was one man who really ensured a steady advancement through the program. Mr. Kursar was a major reason why I truly came to love scouts. He made each den meeting fun and did his best to keep restless little kids engaged. One of my fondest memories from cub scouts is the last meeting of my Tiger year. Mr. Kursar handed out nerf guns and let us run wild throughout the school yard. So thank you Mr. Kursar for such strong and positive memories. 

When I crossed over into Boy Scouts, I was hesitant at first about staying in scouting. To be honest, I thought it was boring, but that, of course, was mostly just due to COVID restrictions. But, this gave me the opportunity to look for a role model. And so it fell upon the most worthy of scouts. Mr. Malone was a wonderful teacher and leader who I always tried, and still try, to look to as a guide. He helped me through my year as SPL and was also a major help with my eagle project. So once again, I extend a thank you to one of my biggest role models. 

I would also like to show gratitude to Mr. Davis, another early role model who showed me what an exemplary scout should look like. 

Last year, I was elected as the SPL, Senior Patrol Leader. A role that was very daunting, especially for a freshman. I didn’t know the best way to do things or how things should be run. In this time of panic, Mr. Redmond was always able to extend a helping hand. I will forever be grateful for this, for him helping me become a better leader. 

I would like to thank everyone else who has helped me, whether it was showing up to work on my Eagle project or working with me as a merit badge counselor, you all helped my scouting career move forward, showing how it really takes a village. 

Now I would like to honor the man that I believe has helped me the most. The man that really let me earn Eagle at a young age. From day one, he always helped the Crabs move along at a very speedy rate, making sure we understood each requirement. But his involvement didn’t stop there. As many of you know, several of us went to Philmont last summer. It was an experience I don’t think any of our crew will ever forget. But we would not have these fond memories without this man. He organised the whole thing, made sure all the t’s were crossed and i’s were dotted, and ensured no one got injured or left behind. He and I may have gotten on each other's nerves at points since we are both stubborn, so I would like to extend an apology to him for being difficult and not always listening. My scouting career would not even remotely be what it is now without his extreme care and dedication. Would Mr. Sushko, please come forward and accept my mentor pin.”

Sushko seemed very touched to be given the pin, especially since, as G3 noted, they had a rather tumultuous relationship. G3 knew which buttons to push, and he pushed them often. But as a teacher, I know that to be recognized and appreciated by a teenager with whom you didn’t always get along is more meaningful in some ways than being recognized by the kid you like most. The appreciation is almost more genuine. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Sushko smile so broadly. 

Both the Somerville and the Raritan mayors gave speeches commending G3 for his accomplishment. Then, my mom ended the ceremony by reading an Eagle prayer. 

The reception followed. We brought subs and salad, cookies, chips, fruit, and cake for the guests to enjoy. The tables were decorated with collages of pictures from G3’s years in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, eagle bookends, and red, white, and blue American flag and fleur-de-lis center pieces. I tried my best to mingle with everyone, but socializing has never been my strength. I was happy that I got to sit down with my mom and brother for a while. It meant the world to G3 that they were able to be there. The guests all seemed to enjoy the afternoon. They lingered, lost in conversation after they finished eating. When it was time to clean up, many of the scouts and parents helped so clean-up wasn’t at all painful.

G3 hadn’t been entirely sure that he wanted a Court of Honor. I was rather insistent that we have one for him—it’s always fun to celebrate big accomplishments. Plus, I didn’t want him to look back with regret if he didn’t have one. I’m glad I was persistent because G3 was smiling and happy all day. Pride and gratitude were radiating out of him. It was joyous to see. The only blight on the day was Dad’s absence. He would have been bursting with pride had he been there. It’s so unfair that he didn’t live long enough to be able to celebrate G3’s success. He dreamed of his grandson being an Eagle, but died before he got to see him take flight.