Tournament 1-30-21

Dear Dad,

G3 competed in a virtual tournament today. I wish you were here. You and Mom would have been able to watch via Zoom. You don’t know what Zoom is. You got sick before it became a thing. It is a way for people to interact on-line. Mom is still learning the basics of technology so Zoom would confuse her. You would have been able to figure it out and you both would have enjoyed watching G3. 

While we were waiting for the tournament to start, one of the instructors mentioned her grandfather and how he is still very much a part of her taekwondo life. I smiled as she spoke about him, but I was concentrating on not crying. Because you should have been able to be a part of G3’s life longer. You should have been able to watch him compete in more tournaments. By now, you would have understood enough of the sport that it would have made more sense to you. 

G3 placed fourth in forms. He tied for third and for the first time he lost the tie breaker. He was disappointed not to medal. I think this might make me a terrible parent, but I believe losing might be good for him. When it comes to forms, he has a natural talent. It comes easy to him. And there are so many things he makes look effortless. But because it comes easy, and because he has become accounted to medaling, he doesn’t practice much on his own. He wants to compete. He wants to do well. Eventually, he wants to qualify for higher level tournaments, but he balks at putting in the extra time. Whenever I gently tell him that success only comes after hours of sweat and hard work he brushes me aside. If you were here, he’d listen to you. He always listened to you. Often you were the only one who could reach him. But you’re not. I can’t even call you up anymore to ask your advice on parenting. And lately, I sometimes feel like I’m floundering. G3 refuses to hear what I say. So I’m left thinking maybe a poor placing is what he needed. Maybe it will teach him the lesson I have been unable to teach him any other way.

However, after a not doing well in forms, he placed second in weapons. You would have been proud of him. In the last tournament he came in third, so this is an improvement for him. But all week, when I got him to class early and suggested he practice, he only practiced his sword form. So I’m hoping he begins to see a correlation between effort and success.

I miss you!