Thanksgiving Weekend 2022

Dear Dad,

This was our third Thanksgiving without you and I miss you as much as ever. I still get out of my car when I get to New York half expecting you to open your back door and pull me in for a hug. A holiday just isn’t right without that hug. This year, we didn’t have Emma either. When it came time to walk Lily, it felt odd just taking one dog outside. Mom worked hard to make it an enjoyable day. She made all our favorite foods—antipasto, clams, lasagna. My brother cooked dinner—turkey, homemade biscuits, Brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. G3 was in charge of dessert. He made apple pie on Wednesday after school. He also made crumb cake in order to maintain the tradition you started. When we eat the cake, we think of you and the memories of so many past holidays come rushing back. I try to hold back the tears, but it’s impossible. I still feel cheated. Why you? Why did COVID have to steal you from us? It’s not fair. The world has returned to normal, but my world—and G3’s—will never be what it was. The highlight of Thanksgiving was after dinner when Middle Gary and Kati started talking about geometry. Middle Gary called G3 over and he was extremely animated as he tried to explain certain concepts—something about squares and Pythagorus—to him. I’m not used to seeing him so excited. Sadly, G3 did not match his enthusiasm.

G3 likes H.P. Lovecraft so I had suggested we take a short weekend trip to Providence, Rhode Island where Lovecraft spent much of his life. It was cheaper to stay across the border in Massachusetts, near Fall River. For years, Kati had talked about how much she wanted to visit Lizzie Borden’s house. Every summer, when we used to drive up to Cape Cod, we passed the exit for Fall River. And every time Kati would say, “Some day, when we have the money, I want to go to Lizzie Borden’s house.” Well, now that I’m working, some day finally arrived. 

Friday morning, we woke up early and drove to Massachusetts. It was cold and rainy, so when we got to Fall River we stopped at a pastry shop for some hot chocolate. Kati and G3 ordered pastries but I opted for a bowl of Portuguese soup instead. The soup was better than the hot chocolate. By the time we finished eating, the rain had stopped. We drove over to Battleship Cove. Since we weren’t in the mood to visit the museums, we took a walk along the water.

Our tour of Borden’s house started at 7:30. It was a ghost tour so it began with a walk around the city. The tour guide pointed out all the places where paranormal activity has occurred. Of course, Lizzie’s parents haunt the house where they were killed. The church Lizzie used to attend became a culinary school. It eventually folded because the kitchen was haunted. Plates would randomly break and ingredients would get messed up. In the late 1800s, there was a fire at a nearby mill and many people died. Three sisters who were killed still walk the streets, as does their mother who remains deep in mourning. People have seen the sisters out of the corners of their eyes and smelled burning flesh as they walked past. I’m not sure I believed any of it, but it was still fun listening to the stories. 

After the walking part of the tour, we had a tour of the first floor of the house, which included the room in which Lizzie’s father was killed. Lizzie Borden was acquitted of killing her stepmother and father, but she remains the leading suspect. Based on the way the blood coagulated, they know Abby, her stepmother, died before Andrew, her father. As a result, Abby’s wealth passed to Andrew—there was no will—allowing Emma, Lizzie’s older sister, to inherit all the money. Emma then chose to spilt the inheritance with Lizzie. If Andrew had died first, his wealth would have passed to Abby and her blood relatives would have gotten everything instead of the Borden sisters. Since Lizzie didn’t directly inherit anything, there was no motive for her to kill her parents. This was one of three reason the jury found her not guilty. The other reasons were: the murder weapon was never found and the jury didn’t believe a woman was capable of committing such a savage crime. 

While no motive was known at the time, there is now speculation that Andrew sexually abused his girls. This is based on the way the upstairs bedrooms were designed. Andrew devised the floor plan, ensuring he had access to both of his daughters’ rooms at all times. There is also some speculation that Lizzie’s uncle—her mother’s brother—and the family maid assisted in the murder. 

Once Lizzie was acquitted, she and Emma moved into a different house. They lived together for thirteen years. Then, in 1905, Emma abruptly moved to New Hampshire and the sisters never spoke again. Why? No one knows. One theory is that Lizzie had relationships with women and Emma didn’t approve.

We started the day on Saturday with a trip to the cemetery to see where the Bordens are buried. I found it interesting that Lizzie was buried in the same plot as Andrew and Abby.

From Fall River we drove to Providence. Our first stop was Brown University where we took a  stroll around the campus. Once upon a time, it had been my dream school, but I wasn’t smart enough to get in. It seems I’m never good enough or smart enough to attain any of my dreams. I should be used to it by now—or give up dreaming. Anyway, I really liked the campus. G3 didn’t care for it. He liked both Princeton and the University of Virginia more.

From Brown, we walked to the Providence Anthenaeum. It is a library that Lovecraft visited frequently. Poe also spent some time there. G3 would have spent the whole day among the stacks if I let him. We also drove by the last house in which Lovecraft lived. It is privately owned, so we couldn’t go inside. G3 settled for having his picture taken out front. 

We couldn’t be in Providence and not visit Roger Williams National Memorial. It wasn’t a terribly exciting stop. It was just a park—that has the well spring first discovered by Williams that enabled him to establish the colony—and a small visitors’ center. For Kati, it was the most interesting stop of the day. The ranger was really enthusiastic as he spoke about Rhode Island being the birth place of religious freedom and the separation of church and state in America. As you probably remember from school—school was much better back in your day than it is now—Rodger Williams was kicked out of Massachusetts because he didn’t play well with others when it came to religion. He was accused—and found guilty—of being a religious dissenter. That’s why it was important for him to establish a colony where people were free to exercise their own conscience. A place where they could practice the religion of their choice or no religion at all. In Rhode Island, he founded the first Baptist Church in America, which of course we also had to visit.

We ended the day as we started it—at the cemetery. G3 wanted to pay his respects to Lovecraft. I was surprised at how easy it was to find Lovecraft’s grave. Apparently, people still bring flowers and they leave pennies on his headstone. The man died a pauper and now he is loved by many. His writing lives on in a way he probably never imagined it would. Too bad he never got to enjoy any of his success.

The drive home was miserable. Traffic through Connecticut was horrible.

I miss you!