Durham

Dear Dad,

We let G3 skip school on Friday so that we could drive down to North Carolina for one final tournament this season. I know you would not have approved. In fact, I could hear you reprimanding me for interrupting his education. Missing school was something you always frowned upon—until I allowed G3 to skip a day to see you, then for some reason that was always acceptable. I can assure you though, he didn’t miss anything, or if he did, nothing that can’t be made up. School has changed a great deal since I was student. As you know, I’ve been rather dismayed at the poor quality of education G3 is getting in the school he is attending. The teachers—most of them—don’t teach much. G3’s day is taken up with online games and activities and videos. If there was some rigorous learning going on I might not have felt so comfortable allowing him to miss a day. Okay, that might only be a half truth. I may not have felt as comfortable, but I still would have done it. After all, he was spending seven hours in the car with me. If there was real work to make up, I would have sat in the back seat with him and had him do it while Kati drove. 

Since I am your daughter, and you trained me well, I insisted that we leave early on Friday morning so that we would arrive in Durham in time to do a bit of sightseeing. If it had been entirely up to me, we probably would have left even earlier, but at least Kati was agreeable for a six o’clock departure time. Once we got on the road, we decided not to stop for breakfast until we got past DC. If we were going to hit traffic at all, it would have been going through either Baltimore or DC so we figured we should push through until we hit Virginia. Luckily, traffic around the Beltway wasn’t too bad. We stopped at McDonalds, got food to go, and then got back in the car to continue our drive.

I did some research before we left to see what there was to do in Durham. Kati rolled her eyes when I listed the historic sites we could see. I narrowed our choices down to a plantation and Bennett Place—a point of surrender during the Civil War. We eliminated the planation because the last guided tour was at 1:00 and there was no way we’d get there in time. Kati grumbles every time I drag the family to a battlefield. They all kind of look the same—big grassy fields where lots of people died. If you lined up all the battlefields next to each other, it would virtually impossible to tell them apart. Still, I think it’s interesting to see where history unfold and to learn about the battles that shaped our history. But according to Kati, a surrender spot, was even less exciting than a battlefield. However, she was a good sport and her mocking of me was only in jest—I hope.

My theory—and it’s entirely possible I developed this theory as a way to appease you—is that if G3 is going to miss school, the absence is totally excusable if we do something that furthers his education and expands his knowledge. It’s a bonus when I learn something too. And I did, because I had no idea that anything relevant happened during the Civil War following Lee’s surrender at Appomattox. Every textbook I ever read, cited Appomattox as the end of the War, but apparently that’s only part of the story. Lee’s surrender was by far he most important, but hostilities didn’t immediately cease. About a week following Appomattox, General Johnson surrendered to General Sherman at the Bennett House, which is located about three miles down the road from Duke University. 

When we arrived at the Visitor’s Center, we opted to watch a short video of the events that took place there. As we were walking into the theater, G3 laughed that it was like being is school. Every day his social studies teacher has them watch a video. She does very little teaching beyond the act of pressing play. So in this case, G3 probably did learn more outside of school than he would have learned in school. Following the introductory video, we took a guided tour. The tour guide was good, and the tour small—the three of us and three other people. We learned that just before meeting with Johnson, Sherman had received word that Lincoln had been killed. His death cast a shadow over the surrender, but Sherman, who knew of Lincoln’s desire not to punish the Confederacy too harshly in the wake of war, offered terms of surrender that he believed mirrored Lincoln’s wishes. Johnson didn’t have much of a choice but to accept them. Lee had already surrendered his men and Jefferson Davis was in flight. The Confederacy was crumbling and Sherman’s army had more men. To continue fighting would have accomplished nothing but more bloodshed and death, something both generals were eager to avoid.

Though Sherman secured a second surrender from the South, the men in Washington were not pleased with his terms. As part of the negotiations, Johnson and his men were promised the retention of property rights. This was unacceptable in Washington because property rights were considered—by the Southerns—to include the possession of slaves. As a result, Grant persuaded Sherman to meet with Johnson a second time to alter the terms of surrender. On this occasion, the terms presented were nearly identical to the ones Grant issued to Lee at Appomattox. 

After seeing Bennett Place, we drove to Duke University and walked around the campus. Several people told us that we should make a point of visiting because the campus was really nice. And it was. The Gothic architecture combined with the trees and grass made it rather picturesque. While there, we did an Adventure Lab cache. It was frustrating because two the answers were not visible anywhere and so we had to guess on one of them until we go the answer correct. The other, we answered correctly after consulting Google.

G3 was extremely nervous on Saturday morning. But he does remarkably well under pressure. Watching him do his form, you’d never guess how anxious he was. He was steady and precise and graceful. The ring was extremely difficult—one of the most competitive he’s experienced. To give you an idea of how hard it was, he went up against two boys who are ranked in the top ten in the world. So we were incredibly proud of him for coming in second place in forms. He missed getting a medal in weapons by one point. But still, a fourth place finish with a weapon he only picked up four months ago is impressive, considering the strength of his opponents.

At the moment, unless something wonky happens with the points, G3 should finish out the season ranked first in forms (and maybe weapons) in New Jersey. Knowing how much you always loved sports, I wish you could be here to see how much G3 has improved in the last five months. Seeing him develop athletically would have given you a great deal of pleasure. Oh how wonderful it would have been if you were here to see him compete.

As for me, things are not going as well. I interviewed for a job last week and I honestly thought the interview went well. But I didn’t even make it to the second round of interviews. Kati thinks it’s because they found other teachers who are cheaper. I don’t know if that’s the case. But it is extremely discouraging. All I hear is that there are teacher shortages everywhere, and still no one wants me. I filled out so many applications and got only one call. What infuriates me most is knowing how qualified I am, and how good I would be in a classroom, and then seeing the bullshit that goes on in G3’s history class. How is that someone who can’t be bothered doing anything but showing videos has a job, but I don’t? I am beyond discouraged. I’m fed up with being poor. You always told me that if I did well in school and got a graduate degree I’d never have trouble finding work. And yet, here I am. Agents don’t want me. Schools don’t want me. What am I supposed to do? I kind of understand the failure at writing. It’s the arts after all. It’s somewhat subjective. The idea of a starving artist is not unheard of. Success in writing is in part due to luck—which I obviously lack. But teaching? That’s supposed to be a secure profession. A safe career. So what is wrong with me? And why is it you seem to help G3 and pull strings for him, but every time I ask you for help, I end up with another rejection? Is it just that my requests are too difficult? Or is G3 right when he says it’s because you love him more?

I miss you!