Day 251

Yesterday, I passed my taekwondo midterm, which means in ten weeks — barring catastrophe or tragedy or some other evil — I will be able to test for my black belt. But it is 2020 and just because the timeline says I should be able to test, I’m not banking on or counting on anything. By February, the world could explode. I tested in person instead of Zooming in because I wanted the practice. When I test for black it will be live. I didn’t want the big test to be the first time I tested in front of people. Unfortunately, neither my spouse nor my son were able to watch. My son had a Cub Scout event at the same time so my spouse had to drive him. She was disappointed she missed it and felt bad that I had to be there alone. But maybe I wasn’t alone, maybe in some spirit realm Dad was there watching. I know if he were alive he would have zoomed in to watch. Maybe in the afterlife he had access to the internet as well. Since my spouse wasn’t there, the mother of one of my son’s peers took a short video of the first part of my staff from so the family could see me. It was kind and thoughtful of her. Both my son and spouse enjoyed watching it — my spouse to say I looked good, my son to point out the things I could have done better.

I am dismayed my spouse still has to teach in person. Many other schools in New Jersey have made the wise decision to go all virtual between now and mid to late January. My spouse’s district refuses to close. What angers me is that the district is bending over backward to appease parents and not in the least taking teacher needs into account. Different rules apply to teachers and students. But seriously, if parents want the schools to stay open so that they can continue to have free day care, so that their lives don’t get turn up side down, they are the ones who should be going out of their way to keep their children as isolated as possible. They should be willing to do anything and everything to prevent the virus from entering the schools. That includes staying home themselves, avoiding indoor dining, and not allowing their children to attend parties or other gatherings. But they don’t want to be inconvenienced at all. However, they have no problem inconveniencing teachers.

If a family member in a teachers’ home is quarantined due to exposure to the virus, the teacher is required to also stay in quarantine, but to do so they must use their sick days — that’s ten sick days they are forced to surrender even if they aren’t sick. Yet, if a student’s sibling is quarantined, the student can show up to school. That doesn’t seem right. Also, if teachers travel to a state with a high infection rate they are required to quarantine for two weeks — again they must use their own sick days. But there are no consequences for students who cross state lines.  To accommodate teachers they weren’t given extra sick days. They weren’t offered a raise.

Sadly, in America teachers are treated like servants, not professionals. They are paid poorly and the demands put on them are unreasonable. My spouse is working more hours this year than she ever has before, despite the fact that her students are attending class on a hybrid model. Having to arrange her classes to meet the needs of in-person students ,as well as virtual students, means she has no time for herself or her family. But more infuriating is the fact that the politicians and administrators, in requiring her to teach so that the economy can be kept afloat, are depriving her of time with her own son. Every day, she is at risk of coming into contact with someone who has Covid, which means there is a chance she could bring the deadly virus home to her son. Despite the fact that I don’t like living in New Jersey, I had every intention of staying here through Christmas so that we could keep as many Christmas traditions as possible for our son. But with the rate of infection expected to increase after Thanksgiving — all those parents flouting advice from the medical professionals to keep their gatherings small and instead celebrating with their families and exposing their kids to who knows what — and with her school refusing to go virtual, we can’t put our son at risk. Therefore, after Thanksgiving, he and I will head back to New York where we will be safer. But my resentment will mount. Instead of being with us, my spouse has to babysit other peoples’ kids. Instead of giving me a break, so that I can write, or work on photography, she will be catering to other peoples’ kids, doing more work for them and not getting paid any more for it. Instead spending time with her own kid, she’s working harder than ever for someone else who doesn’t even have the decency to keep their own kids out of the line of Covid fire. Teachers are people too, with lives and families of their own. During a time of crisis they shouldn’t have to shoulder other peoples’ responsibilities — especially if they aren’t getting paid for it. Nor should they have to sacrifice things in their own lives for people who don’t respect them.

Again, we spent much of the weekend packing. Putting things in boxes, giving some clothes and toys away, and throwing other things in the trash. I tossed more than I wanted to, but we just don’t have the space to store it. I hate being so sentimental. It hurts too much when I can’t hold onto everything that has meaning. I drew the line at Dad, anything he ever gave me or my son I had to save. Maybe someday I’ll be able to let it go, just not now.

As of this writing, 262,696 Americans have died from Covid. More than 10,000 have died in a week. The governor is a coward. He’s not shutting anything down. The president is crying in his bunker because he lost the election. The government tells us to behave. HA! If they really want us to stay put and do our part they need to ground the air planes and shut the state borders. Close indoor dinning and schools. But they won’t. Because saving lives doesn’t make money.