Eagle Scout

Dear Dad,

Today is one of those days I know you died too young. I really wish I could call you up. I know G3 wishes he could talk to you. You would be so proud of him. He had his Eagle Board of Review this evening and he did well. He is now an Eagle Scout. All the hard work and angst of this year between doing his Eagle project and completing his paperwork paid off. I know how much you wanted this for him, and I’m really sad that you can’t be here to celebrate with him. It seems so unfair, but he still credits you for being the reason he attained this rank. He gives you credit for everything, all the time. It doesn’t matter what I do, or how much I encourage him, you always seem to be the reason for all the good in his life.

I remember when he was really little, and you first insisted that I enroll him in Cub Scouts. He wanted to join for no other reason than because you suggested it. He could see your excitement. But that’s all you ever had to do, suggest something, and he wanted to do it. And he knew how badly you wanted him to make Eagle Scout. It’s hard to believe it was four years ago that he crossed over from Cub Scouts. It was a sad crossing over. There was no Blue and Gold dinner that year because of COVID, so the Cubmaster held a modified ceremony in the cold at Duke Island Park. Mom came. It was a long day of driving for me. The year before, two months before COVID killed you, you told me you wanted to go to the Blue and Gold to see G3 cross over. You made me promise that I’d get you tickets, even though you said you’d pay for them. You didn’t get to do that either. 

There’s so much you’ve missed these last five years, and some days your absence feels so much more acute than on others. You would have loved being part of G3’s journey to Eagle. You’d have been there for his project and you’d be looking forward to his Court of Honor. And, if you were alive, the first thing he’d have done after the Board of Review, when he got in the car, was called you. That’s what he did when he qualified for the World Championship with his pinewood derby car. He took my phone, dialed your number, and said, “You’re coming Grandpa, right?” And without hesitation, you promised to be there. Him sitting on your lap at the championship was your last profile picture on Facebook.

Four people sat on G3’s Board of Review: a woman from Council whom he didn’t know, and three leaders from his troop whom he invited. Mr. Geertsma has known him since our first family camping trip back when G3 was in his first year of Cub Scouts. The night we arrived, he offered to help us set up and get us acquainted with the camp. Ms. Collins has also known him since he was in first grade. She was a mom we always enjoyed chatting with on camping trips. Mrs. Walsh he met when he joined troop 84, and her oldest son was one of my favorite scouts. It was great that the three of them were willing to take time out of their evening to support G3 on this final step to Eagle. I only wish I knew what questions they asked, and what his responses were, but G3 is not very good at communicating with me. I asked what they talked about and his answers were vague and not at all informative. 

On the way home, he did call Nonna to share his good news and we stopped for ice cream. You’d have appreciated that. You loved ice cream as much as we do.

I still miss you.