Day 420

Today, I drove into Queens to visit Mom for the afternoon. I didn’t want her to be alone for Mother’s Day. In our pre-COVID life, I would often bring my son to visit her the weekend before or the week after Mother’s Day so that we could spend more than just a few hours together. On Mother’s Day, my son, my spouse, and I would do a family fun activity and Dad would take Mom out for dinner. But Dad’s not here, and I didn’t want Mom sitting home alone all day thinking about Dad and missing him. I thought she deserved to spend the day with at least one of her kids. It was another day in which I had to chose — do I focus on my role of being a daughter or my role of being a mother. If I had taken my son with me, that would have meant my spouse had no one for Mother’s Day. Considering I’ve spend so much time with my son the last several months, combined with the fact that we’re taking a short trip together this week, I didn’t think he’d miss me too much today. So I chose Mom.

Before I left for Mom’s, my son made us — my spouse and I — pancakes for a special Mother’s Day breakfast. To make it extra special, he spelled out each of our names in pancakes. Yes, that does mean that my spouse got four pancakes to my three, but my son made plenty so I certainly was full when I finished eating. 

Mom very much appreciated my visit. She made zucchini parm — one of my favorite dishes — along with pasta and salad for dinner. Before the rain, we took a walk until her leg started to bother her. After dinner, we played games — Scrabble and Boggle. It was fun playing, but also sad because playing games with Mom reminds me of the long painful days when Dad was dying in the hospital. I think Mom is very lonely. Dad was everything to her and without him the house is too big and empty. I really wish she would consider moving closer to me. But she doesn’t drive, and if she moved to the suburbs she wouldn’t be able to be as independent. She likes being close enough to stores and church that she can walk. If she moved to Jersey, she’d have to rely on me to drive her everywhere.

On my drive home, my son called. He was very excited to inform me that he lost a tooth. “But don’t worry,” he added, “A new tooth is already coming in so it was an old tooth I lost, not a new one.” Then, the minute I walked in the door, he told me he had to show me something. I followed him up to our study and he brought me over to his microscope where he told me to look. He had put his tooth under the microscope so that he could examine the blood still attached to it. It was kind of gross, but also interesting.

Some of you have asked if I was able to get any sleep on Friday night. I was not. The neighbor’s party lasted until well after three o’clock in the morning. I will not subject myself to that again. Next time our neighbor decides to throw a party, I will wait until ten o’clock and then I’ll call the police. There is no way I’m allowing my neighbor to ruin another night for me. I detest rude people, and I won’t subject my son to having to sleep on the couch again. Listening to my spouse once was too much. It was definitely a foolish thing to do. There is no reason for me to suffer so that someone else can have fun.

Last night, after a nap — I could barely keep my eyes open during taekwondo and when I got home I had to sleep for a bit — we watched the Hunger Games. It was my son’s reward for having finished reading the book. He didn’t like it. I think if he had watched the move before reading the book he might have thought differently, but it’s hard to appreciate the movie when they left out so much. And that’s what his biggest issue was. He felt they raced through the story, jumping from one scene to another while omitting important information. At one point, when the camera shifted away from the arena and showed the head gamemaker speaking to President Snow, my son commented, “You couldn’t have had this scene in the book because the book was written in first person. And right now, we’re not in Katniss’s head.” I was pleased. I paused the movie and told him I was happy that he paid attention to me in class this year. He rolled his eyes and said, “Of course I was listening. You went on and on about first person and how you can’t always believe the narrator and the story can only be told through what the narrator knows and sees. It would be hard not to learn when you don’t stop talking.” Yes, even when he’s being obnoxious, I still adore him.