State Champion

Dear Dad,

G3 worked incredibly hard this year training in Taekwondo. He wanted to do well enough to earn at least one title, and he did it. He is the 2022 New Jersey State Champion in Forms and in Weapons. He crushed the field in Forms, but Weapons was close, only two points separated him from the two boys who finished the regular season second in the state. I think his weapons title is more impressive considering he had to learn a new weapon form halfway through the season, and the weapon he chose—double bahng-mahng-ee—is not an easy one to perfect. 

So many times in life something bad happens—or something that leads to great disappointment—and people try to comfort you by saying, “It happened for a reason.” Often, the comment annoys me because I can’t see what that reason is. Nothing, at least in my life, that was disappointing turned around to usher in something happy. Bad things happen. Dreams don’t materialize, and each day is worse, or more depressing, than the one that preceded it. However, I can now look back and say Indiana happened for a reason. The tournament back in November was an extremely disappointing one for G3. He had his worst scores ever and he felt like he had wasted his time going out there. But it proved to be an extremely important learning experience. We realized that if G3 was going to reach his potential, we needed to explore our options and visit other schools. It was hard to leave an instructor he respected, one who cultivated his love of weapons, but he needed something more.

We had no idea what to expect when we stepped into the Parlin school. Would G3 be accepted or would he be viewed as an outsider? Would he make friends? Would his instructors see his talent and make him even better? On our first visit to Parlin, we were talking to one of the instructors and we told him that one of G3’s goals was to end the season with a title on his back. We asked if that was something they could help him accomplish. He was on the point board, but he hadn’t placed in the previous two tournaments. Another instructor pulled up the state standings, found G3’s name, and nodded, “Absolutely.” Her confidence was astounding, and from the first class G3 took in that school she set out to fix the minor things he was doing incorrectly. Within months, she, along with the other instructors, transformed him. His form simply looked better, more graceful, more precise. If we hadn’t gone to Indiana, if G3 hadn’t lost so terribly, if he hadn’t been so distraught, we never would have changed schools and he would not be a state champion today. 

I wish you were here to celebrate because I know you would have made a big deal over this and taken G3 out to dinner to his favorite restaurant. You would have made G3 feel like he was the most special person in the world. You would have been proud of him. 

While earning the title of State Champion is impressive, the season doesn’t stop here. G3 has qualified for Districts in Forms, Weapons, Combat, and Sparring. He will definitely compete in Forms and Weapons, but he might opt not to compete in Sparring and Combat. While he’s improved in both sparring events since switching schools, he has not yet gained the confidence he’ll need to excel in the ring. Next year will be a new season, with a different field of boys to compete against. Next year, he’ll continue sparring. But for Districts, he’s going to focus on his strengths, the events he does best in.

Tonight, we took G3 out to dinner to celebrate. We couldn’t afford anything fancy, but he’s been wanting to eat at Friday’s since forever, so that’s where we went. Since we so rarely go out, he was happy. When we got home, he wanted to play basketball with me. That made me happy. We don’t have a hoop, but it didn’t matter. We practiced passing and he wanted me to show him some “tricks” for stealing the ball and for dribbling. He said he doesn’t want to try out for a team, but he’d like to be good enough to play with friends. 

I can’t believe it’s been more than two years since we last had a conversation. And still, when good things happen, the fact that I can’t call you up and share the moment with you, robs the moment of some of its excitement.

I miss you!

PS — My memory on Facebook is from Mother’s Day weekend twelves years ago. G3 was four months old. You and G3 look so happy cuddled together. You have matching fat round bald heads. It’s absolutely adorable. I know he misses you too.