Pumpkin Picking

Dear Dad,

I took G3 pumpkin picking with his friends today. Even though we went to a farm here in New Jersey, a farm you had never been to, it was impossible not to think about you all afternoon. Oh how you used to love when we visited this time of the year. I think Mattituck in the fall was a favorite for all of us. In the later years, G3 always planned the itinerary. He wanted to make sure he got to pick apples and pumpkins and drink cider and eat roasted corn on the cob. We always looked forward to it, and this year, being stuck here, knowing we can never see you again is making fall feel heavy, sad. 

While we were at lunch — we met G3’s friends for pizza before pumpkins — G3 was telling J and P all about the corn maze out in Long Island. About how it had a Sherwood Forest theme and that he got to shoot an arrow and sword fight against Robin Hood. “Grandpa always took me,” he added, “and we’d walk around and around trying to find our way out. I miss that.”

On the hay ride an older man was sitting with his grandchild on his lap. Watching him dote on the little one made me cry. I’m glad I was wearing sunglasses or G3 would have ridiculed me mercilessly. But it reminded me of you and G3 and how much the both of you always enjoyed your time together.

We stopped to see the animals. Remember when G3 was little and you used to take him to the winery to feed the goats and sheep. G3 always got excited. He couldn’t wait to fill his chubby little hands with food pellets, but oh how he hated the sliminess on his hands after the animals’ tongues licked them. I can still see you holding his hands steady in yours, your hands cupped around his making sure the pellets didn’t all fall to the ground. Over the years, I took so many picture of you and G3 together, but I never took one of your hands cupped around his. I’m not sure why this bothers me so much now.

Today, G3 greeted the animals at the farm by the names of the characters in Animal Farm. He said hello to Snowball, Squeaker, Napoleon, Boxer, Benjamin, and Muriel. We are reading Orwell’s book in school. The novel is easy to read, but more challenging, perhaps, to understand. Before starting it, I skipped ahead in G3’s history textbook to the Russian Revolution. I have to say, I’m extremely disappointed by how little information is actually given in the book. It’s not even a summary, it’s more like an extended topic sentence. The book doesn’t even mention Trotsky and I think Karl Marx had a sentence — maybe two — in total. But over the summer G3 developed an interest in Russian history so he seems to be enjoying the book thus far. When I asked him who he thought Squealer represented — Animal Farm is after all an allegory and the animals all depict a historical person or group of people — instead of saying propaganda or the Soviet press, G3 responded, “Fox News.” I laughed. Because that too seemed an appropriate answer.

I think G3’s favorite part of the day was running through the corn maze with J. They went in four times, timing themselves at each go to see if they could get through quicker than before. Their final sprint was their fastest and they were proud of themselves for breaking five minutes.

G3 picked out a pumpkin for his room and one for him to cut into a Jack-O-Lantern. Mom asked me to pick up a pumpkin for her as well. This is probably the first time in fifty years — or more — that she isn’t going to the pumpkin patch. Fall used to be her favorite season. I wonder if it still is. 

We ended the day with a snack. G3 got an apple — sliced and covered in a thick gooey layer of caramel. On his second or third bite, his tooth, which had been loose for several months, finally fell out. It shot out of his mouth and flew across the table. I’m not quite sure how he managed that, but he was really excited about it. Loosing a tooth while eating an apple makes far more sense than loosing one biting into ice cream. But, of course, he had to tell his friends about the time we were at Hollywood Studios in Disney and you bought him ice cream. He took one bite and suddenly his vanilla ice cream was pink as his blood oozed all over it. 

Last Saturday, after G3 had Taekwondo, I went caching. I asked G3 to join me but he was tired after two sparring classes and one forms class. While I was out, I discovered a paddleball court. I was really excited. Maybe someday after school — when G3 doesn’t have an activity — or on some weekend, he and I can go play. You and I had so much fun playing together. It would be nice to continue the tradition with G3.

I miss you!