Mama – Day 75

Another black man killed by a cop. Riots in Minneapolis. A burning police station. Trump’s escalating twitter war. Trump’s abandonment in WHO in the middle of pandemic that has killed 103,000 Americans. In the last 48 hours, there have been at least two dozen messages I’ve wanted to send Dad. I’ve wanted to tag him in posts and articles. And I wanted to call him to discuss the awful political events that are gripping out country. But I can’t because one of the horrible events killed him. Dad despised Trump. He’d have had many choice words for his behavior over the last couple of days. I can hear his anger in my head — but it’s only an echo. 

While watching the news, my son commented,“If you think about it, it makes sense that the protesters used violence. If the police use violence why shouldn’t regular people. Remember the police set the dogs on Martin Luther King and he was peaceful.” Damn! He’s perceptive for a kid. And it’s true. How do I impress upon him that violence is wrong, when peaceful protests are silenced or ignored or attacked? 

At the moment, this is my fear: We have Trump at the helm. In a tweet he called the protesters thugs. A president should not be using divisive language — at all. Especially now. But we all know it’s one of his specialities. One of his weapons. However, he didn’t stop there, he went on to promise the Governor of Minnesota that he’d have the backing of the US Military if he wanted it. This is extremely disconcerting. I don’t trust Trump. He would turn military style weapons on Democrats and liberals and go golfing while they bled in the streets. He’s already responsible for so many deaths, what are a few thousand more. There is also something very wrong when cops can kill black people without consequence and then they are the ones called upon to keep angry black men and women in check. They have already proven that they abuse their power. And so we give them more power so that the cycle of abuse will continue. But the cop who killed Floyd was finally arrested. He’s in custody. But is he being treated like a criminal or a cop? Maybe the better question is, will the charges stick? Will he be convicted? 

Trump, in his brilliantly cruel and historically ignorant way, also tweeted, “When the looting starts, the shooting starts.” For this, Twitter censored him. How absolutely deplorable to have a president who is inciting violence. A president who essentially gave cops the green light to shoot more black people. In short, our president is attempting to start a race war — in the midst of a pandemic.

Yes, let’s not forget the pandemic. People have been warned to social distance, and now they are mingling on the street, not caring about six feet. Some are wearing masks, but not everyone. But these men and women hitting the streets aren’t looking to get a haircut or eat in a restaurant or even go to a gym. They are the ones who are legitimately standing up for their rights. Their freedom. But in standing up against police brutality. In protesting their right to be equal, to be treated humanely, to not die, they may die in greater numbers due to the coronavirus. Remember, it’s hitting the African-American community harder than the white community. It’s hard to believe that numbers won’t spike. And again, this is where the president is failing. I blame him. He should be trying to unite Americans in an effort to keep everyone safe — from violence and from the virus. But he’s only capable of riling up his base. Americans are dying. And while America burns he twiddles his thumbs, spewing hate on social media.

And my neighbors are Trumpers. They have to be. White privileged middle class people who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves. Again, they set themselves out in front of their condo unit this evening — only four of them this time. But no masks. No respect. They spread their chairs across the communal walkway. To get to the mailbox, to pick up my mail, I had nowhere to walk, except on the flowers planted between their chairs and the fence. They cursed me out for crushing the flowers. But why do they need to sit on the walkway when they have a patio? When my spouse came home. She made them move to let her pass. But still, we both had to walk through the germs they emitted into the air. The condo association should not permit such gatherings at time like this. If our neighbors don’t care enough about their own health that’s one thing, but their actions could lead to infecting — possibly killing — others in the development, and that is unacceptable.

Snapshot Rewind

2015: Shortly after I had gotten married, I had gone to visit my parents — just me. My spouse had stayed home. After dinner, Dad and I lingered at the table, finishing our glasses of wine. I always enjoyed those few extra moments. Dad took a sip of wine, and held the glass in his hand, staring at the liquid as he confessed, “I think I’m more surprised that you married someone white, than that you married a woman.” His words caught me by surprise. They weren’t at all what I had expected. “Why do you say that?” And he laughed, “It’s a stereotype, I know, but all those years of basketball. I was prepared to have a mixed race grandchild. Now, if you have a kid, two moms, that might take a bit to get used to.” But his eyes were laughing, and so I knew he was joking.