Hawkeye

Dear Dad,

You would have loved Hawkeye. It was fantastic. The final fight scene took place on the ice at Rockefeller Center. The last time G3 and I were there, we were with you. As if watching Marvel shows isn’t enough to make me think of you, last night as we watched the finale, it was impossible not to wish you had lived long enough to watch the show. Yelena was my favorite character, even though she only had a minor supporting role in the last few episodes. I think you would have liked her as well. 

I didn’t care for the female lead in the show all that much. I found her character rather irritating. And G3 was quite critical of the fact that she allegedly mastered so many fighting sports in such a short time. That made me laugh. He kept saying it was unrealistic that she could fight so well if she were only a black belt in martial arts. To be that good, she’d need more than a first degree. Yeah, he has a point. But what in the Marvel Universe is realistic? Is it realistic that aliens attacked New York City? Is it realistic that Captain America could have survived frozen in ice? Or what about Thor, a god visiting Earth wherever the mood moves him? There was also that blip, thousands of people dead only to be brought back to life? (Now, if we could bring all the initial COVID victims back to life, that would be amazing. But in the real world, death is permanent.) G3 has no issue with anything in the MCU that is crazy and impossible, except for Kate Bishop’s fighting skills. What compounded his frustration is that she only earned her black belt at 15, which simply shows the writers may not have done their homework. If you are committed and decent — you don’t have to be talented — it only takes about four years of dedication to go from white to black. (Unless of course you take a twenty plus year hiatus in between belts as I did, then it takes a bit longer.)

Hawkeye is the fourth Marvel show on Disney +. You would have enjoyed the others as well. I didn’t care for Loki. It just didn’t hold my interest. I kept falling asleep on the episodes. For me, that one just tipped the scales of unrealistic a little too much. But WandaVision and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier were both excellent. You most definitely would have gotten Disney + just so you could have watched Marvel and you and G3 would have had so much fun discussing the plots and characters. It’s so not fair that COVID took you from him. Of all the people in this world, you had meant the most to him. I’m doing my best to fill in as a Marvel Movie buddy, but I know it’s not the same. Somehow, you made the experience of watching new movies special in a way that I can never replicate. I’m just G3’s mom, there are no magical “Boy’s Outings” with me. 

And tomorrow is Christmas Eve. And you won’t be there. G3 says he hates seeing commercials where kids hug their grandparents. The ones where kids are announcing how great it is to see them after the lockdowns. He thinks the commercials are insensitive because they just remind kids like him that they will never be able to hug their grandparent again. I agree. Those commercials are causing a great deal of emotional pain. Celebrating a victory and rubbing it in the faces of those who lost the most is cruel. But that’s the world in which we live.

There is another wave of COVID swooping down and washing over the entire country. New York and New Jersey are getting slammed again and the lines to get tested are astronomical. So not worth waiting on, in my opinion, unless you were really sick. For those of us who have been vaccinated, the medical experts keep telling us we don’t have to worry about severe illness, which means waiting on line would really be a waste of time. The breaking news yesterday was the FDA has given emergency approval for a drug that can cure a person of COVID. I should be excited about this, it’s one more step in defeating the virus, but all it does is remind me that it came way too late for you. Besides, now the anti-vaxxers, the selfish people who refused to get vaccinated can get sick and not worry about dying. This new drug will enable them to continue denying the severity of the virus, mocking the dead, and making fun of those of us who have tried to keep others safe without ever facing any consequences themselves. They can laugh at those who died. They can laugh at you and the pain G3 and I experience daily, and they will be rewarded for it. 

If I were in charge, no one who isn’t vaccinated (the exception of course is those who for medical reasons can’t get the vaccine) would be permitted to get that drug. And when you think about it, some of them don’t want the vaccine because they don’t know exactly what’s in it, so why would they take a drug if they didn’t know every last ingredient? It’s illogical. But if I were in charge, I wouldn’t even permit non-vaccinated (again it’s different for those with a legitimate medical reason that they can’t be vaccinated) people to be admitted into the hospital. In not getting vaccinated, people are saying they don’t trust the doctors and medical experts. So if they don’t trust the doctors before they get sick, why in the world would they trust them afterwards? Also illogical, right? And in admitting them to the hospital, when the severity of their illness could easily have been avoided, they are stealing a bed from someone else who might genuinely need it. Unvaccinated people who get very sick should be brought to the churches that are actively campaigning against vaccination. Lock them in the churches and let the pastors take care of them. If they survive great. If not, well, they had the option to get vaccinated — an option that was denied to you and hundreds of thousands of other Americans. Sadly, this whole pandemic experience has robbed me of a great deal compassion. I like people less and less.

Tonight we had our annual Christmas picnic. We ate picnic food and appetizers while watching Miracle on 34th Street. G3 still looks forward to it every year. I’m glad it’s a tradition that he enjoys. Mom started a couple I always liked: singing every night after dinner during Advent and the Christmas Angel. I’m glad I was able to add something to our Christmas line-up of activities.

I miss you!