Day 6

Truman’s house was closed the day it would have been most convenient to visit. Therefore, we bounced back into Independence, Missouri today.

We seem to be striking out on president house tours. After seeing Oppenheimer yesterday, we were extra excited about going to Truman’s house and learning more about him. Unfortunately, the tour once again focused exclusively on the house. Nothing about World War II. Nothing about Korea. Nothing about the Truman Doctrine or the start of the Cold War. Nothing at all about his political career prior to being president except one line on a sign about him having been a Senator.

Truman died in 1972. His wife, Bess, died in October 1982. The house is exactly the same as it was the day she died. She bequeathed the house to the US Government so the National Park Service took over upon her death. The calendar in the kitchen is still turned to October 1982. The days are crossed off up to the week after her death because the house keeper kept crossing them off until her last day.

The house was originally purchased by Bess’ grandfather in the mid-1800s and he built a couple of extensions in the following decades. The kitchen floor is linoleum that is peeling up off the ground because the Trumans didn’t want to pay for the glue needed to prevent it from curing. The wallpaper is also cheap quality. When Truman left the White House, he was living on $100 a month. Presidents didn’t collect a pension until Eisenhower enacted legislation for it, predominantly because he didn’t think it right that Truman should be strapped for cash. One woman on the tour was grating on G3. She must have asked about the history and significance of every relic in the house. BORING!

So I asked if Truman ever expressed regret for dropping the atomic bomb and killing so many civilians. The guide was not pleased with my question. In a dry flat voice he said simply, “No.” The teacher in me pressed for a better answer. He responded by saying Truman stood by his decision, justifying it by saying he saved many American lives. Japan was not going to surrender and an invasion would have resulted in thousands more American deaths. He said that Truman was not happy about sending troops to Korea because he knew it was going to result in more carnage. I would need to do some research to know if that were true.

When the tour guide said that Truman was the People’s president, G3 corrected him, saying that designation belonged to Jackson. But then G3 pivoted and asked, “If he mingled with regular people, were there ever any attempts on his life?” The guide said only one. Puerto Ricans attempted to kill him because there was some talk of revolution in Puerto Rico and the men were trying to make a name for themselves and their cause. Again, more research is required.

Truman and Bess met in Sunday school. Bess lived across the street from Truman’s aunt. One day while visiting, he volunteered to return a cake plate to Bess’s family. They spent two hours talking, and shortly thereafter, he had a standing invitation to Sunday dinner. They had one child—Margaret. For her eighth birthday, Margaret wanted an electric train set. She got a baby grand piano instead and was not happy. When she grew up, she wrote mystery novels. I wonder if her writing was good or if she snatched a publisher’s attention because her father was president. I am curious. I will have to read one of her novels when I get home.

Truman was the only 20th century president not to be college educated. He read a great deal and considered himself self taught. Allegedly, he was modest and one of the few presidents who did not develop an oversized ego in Washington. When he retired to Independence, he wanted to resume a simple life. His grandson, Clifton, didn’t even know he had been president until he started school and his first grade teacher told him.

For lunch, G3 and I had ice cream at a local ice cream shop. In Truman’s day, it was a drug store, and it was where Truman had his first job. The ice cream was ok, but nothing special. At the ice cream shop, we learned that a minor Civil War battle took place in Independence. That one isn’t in the history textbooks at all. The Confederates defeated the Union, and based on the interpretive signs I later saw throughout the city, it seems the people of Independence are proud of this Confederate part of their past.

G3 begged me to take him to the Barbie movie. The only thing on our schedule today was Truman‘s house. There was nothing else in Independence or even Kansas City that either of us had a burning desire to see or do, and considering it was 99° again, I gave in. G3 was extremely excited to watch it. I couldn’t believe that he wanted to see it that badly, but he said people are talking about it so much on line that he had to know what it was about it.

When I walked into the theater I told the guy behind the concession stand that G3 was making me take him to the movie. The guy laughed and sold me the tickets. Then, noticing G3’s Glacier National Park hat, he asked me if we liked it there. I said yes, and we ended up spending the next 10 or 15 minutes discussing national parks. He and his brother had recently been out to Utah and Colorado and had a great time hiking in and exploring the parks out there. He asked me what my favorite parks were, and after I rattled off a few, he said I had to get out to Zion with G3. I told him it’s on my list. That I would love to spend at least a few weeks in Utah. At one point, I mentioned I was a teacher and he smiled, telling me that he is in college now and is studying to be physical education teacher. I winced, saying I wouldn’t recommend the profession to anyone, but that I wished him well. I also told him that when I was in college I too worked at a movie theater one summer and that the best thing about the job was getting my dad in for free. Dad really did love that. And I realized that I never miss an opportunity to talk about Dad if I have the chance.

Possible Spoiler Alert — Though I do not mention anything specific about the plot:

At the start of the movie, about 10 minutes in, I texted Kati to say that I deserved the mother of the year award for taking G3 because I really did not want to be there. Kati texted back and said, “I think you deserve a winery, but it won’t be any fun without me.” Shortly after that text, G3 commented that in the movie it seemed that the Barbies were portrayed as a bunch of lesbians, especially since they had girls nights every night. I chuckled, and about two minutes later an Indigo Girls song played while Barbie sang along. I laughed, perhaps too loudly. Somehow, it seemed to give a bit of credence to G3’s theory.

The first half of the movie was silly and stupid. G3 and I made fun of it, but then it took a serious turn. Very surprisingly, I started to really like the movie at about the same time G3 started to seethe.

OK— Maybe A Stronger Spoiler Alert Is Needed

The movie is a metaphor, a commentary on how poorly men have treated women since forever. It was well done and I thought the message was fantastic. But I am an adult. I understand metaphor. G3 is still a child, an intelligent child, but still a kid who doesn’t comprehend metaphors as well as an adult should. He internalized it on a more surface level. For young girls, the surface message—as well as the message portrayed in the metaphor—is extremely empowering. For boys, the surface message was an attack. At least it was for G3.

As soon as the movie ended, before the credits even rolled, he stormed out of the theater. He was hurt and angry, and for a half hour as we walked around the city he ranted. I tried very hard to explain the movie from a female perspective, but he wouldn’t listen. He thought the movie was telling girls to push boys aside, cut them out of everything, to make them unimportant. He could not see that the movie was really highlighting that what he just expressed is how women are often treated by men. The point was women need autonomy and opportunity equal to that of men, but it was lost on him. So if the movie angers boys so much, puts them on the defensive, and makes them feel awful, will it in essence succeed in strengthening what it attempted to dismantle? From a certain perspective, I can see how that movie didn’t show boys why they should treat women better. It showed them why women should not be allowed to take over.

When G3 calmed down a bit I tried again, but he kept saying, “Women have equality now. No man tells you or Kati what to do.” And his lived experience is just that—two strong minded women who don’t listen to anyone and who combined do all the tasks that fathers usually do. He doesn’t see our anger and frustration when it comes navigating our way through a world that still favors men.

We returned to the campsite while there was still daylight. I took a walk along Pomona Lake, but G3 opted to stay at the campsite. When I got back, I lit a fire. It was still a billion degrees, but we’re camping and campfires are soothing. We sat far enough away that we couldn’t feel the heat. With the lake and the fire I was completely at peace—happy and serene. G3 was sad. He sat hunched in his seat and when I asked what was wrong he answered, “I feel like I’ve been canceled.” Men may not have treated women well, but is it right for a boy to feel bad just because he’s a boy? Because the men who came before thought themselves superior? I know some women and girls would say yes. But I don’t think it’s right to hold children responsible for the sins of there forebears.