10-29-20

Our memories are fragmented. Yet stories are expected to be rounded out with clear beginnings, middles, and ends. This may work beautifully for fiction, considering the author gets to make everything up. But when it comes to essays and personal narratives, well, we tend to fill in the gaps here and there because it’s what’s expected. We lie in places. Or rather, we creatively bend our tales so that they fit the expected format. Sometimes it works well and the story is magical. Other times, what you’d need to flesh it out and make it whole would also drag it on, make it boring. And the last thing you want to do is put your reader to sleep. There are some stories that simply work best as crisp segments — like photos in a scrap book. They don’t tell the whole story, but they bring out the highlights, the moments you couldn’t forget even if you tried. That’s why, one of my favorite styles of writing is an essay in fragments. It allows you, the writer, to focus on those moments you keep coming back to, whether in your own mind or in the stories you share with family and friends. 

When the school year started — on day one — I decided to start with this sort of personal narrative with G3. I asked him to take out his writing notebook and he brainstormed the clips he most remembered from our trip to the Great Lakes. I did the same. Our lists had some similar memories, but they were not identical. From there I asked him to draft a micro essay from each memory. Some are super short and descriptive, others include a longer narrative and more of a story. As he worked on writing his essay, I worked on writing mine. I thought it would be a fun project for us to compare how one experience could yield different remembrances. It took almost two months to complete the essay because G3 worked on a couple of other essays in between. After he finished the first draft, I reviewed it with him, writing questions in the margins for him to answer in his revision — in an attempt to make it more complete. We worked on sentence structure and grammar. After the second draft he polished it a little more so that each fragment was as sharp and either descriptive or informative as he could make it. You can read his final draft below. As for my essay — the first draft is collecting dust. The pandemic has forced my writing group to put our monthly meeting on hold. Until we can meet again and I can get some feedback, I won’t be able to write a revision.

Falls, Lakes, and Rock Jumping

by G3

Niagara

I was finally on the Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls. The falls were just beautiful. The mist gleamed in the very early light. The Maid of the Mist got very foggy. The sound of the falls was like thunder. The smell of water was as fresh as water could be. I felt the same as being in a misty shower — relaxed. (☺

Bronner’s: A Christmas Freak Show

It’s a freak show.

When I went to Bronner’s it felt like I was going into Santa’s head. Everywhere it was Jesus this and Jesus that. I thought that it was a little overdose of Jesus. When I went in there was so much chatter by the customers and ornaments of Saint Nick. I thought an ornament might fall on me from all the noise. At least when I walked around, I saw a whole bunch of puzzles. Recently, I had been doing a lot of puzzles, so I was very happy. Most of the puzzles had dogs on the photos. I decided to get one with seven golden retrievers in a living room with a fire. We also got five ornaments. Two were for me, two were for the family, and one was for Mama’s friend because they have a joke about Christmas. After two hours in the store we had finally gotten out (☺).

Second Largest Lake

This summer my family and I wanted to swim in all the Great Lakes. It was the first leg of our trip and we were about to jump into freezing Lake Michigan. I would rather have had to jump into the Arctic Ocean in my underwear because it would probably feel warmer. The rule was, if you wanted your swim to count in all Great Lakes, you had to get your head wet and swim a little. So I did that about five times. When I was done, I felt like my butt had fallen off because I was so numb. When we went back to the car my mom wanted to change. While she was changing a drone flew overhead. She was scared the drone might take photos. We made fun of her for a long time because we like to tease her about stuff like that. (☺)  

Whitefish Point

Whitefish point was beautiful.  At the bottom of the lake, I saw rocks glint in the clear water. The rocks were pretty because of all the swirls of color in them. They were as smooth as sanded wood. The water is warm.  Only a hundred years ago, ships would sway side to side with their crews stuck waiting for when they would meet their watery grave. Bodies lay at the bottom of this ghost lake. They are not decomposed because the cold of the water keeps them from rotting. The bodies are face down with mouths open just waiting to be buried on land. So if you take a dip a little too far out it might become your worst nightmare. 

Mt. Everest

We had just got back from Pictured Rocks in the U.P. (Upper Peninsula of Michigan). I got my second six inch turkey sub from Subway. It tasted like heaven. It was so good. When I was done, I saw a shaved ice stand down the road. Since I love shaved ice, we went there for dessert. We saw a teen with a large ice (it was huge) so we decided to get the only other size — a small. I thought I should get the flavors blue raspberry, cherry, and pink lemonade because I thought they would taste good. When I got it, it was like a rainbow Mt. Everest. Even the small was huge. It tasted awesome. (☺) 

Apostle Islands

The sun gleamed off the water showing the reflection of the red kayak I was in. In the distance, I could see an island just sitting there like a patient fisherman. The birds were singing their early song. Lake Superior was cold, but warm in a way. High above there stood an emerald forest. Once again the water smelled fresh. It was great to be at the Apostle Islands. (☺) 

Houghton Falls

Mom said we could go to Houghton Falls and jump into the water from a rock. She thought it would be fun. The Apostle Islands’ guide recommended it when we were out kayaking. The horizon was very beautiful with its light pink and blue skies. When we got there, Mom thought it was not safe to jump because I might hit my head on rocks and die. We just swam instead. I was really annoyed. I always thought that jumping into water would be fun.  When other people came and jumped, Mom said we could also jump. She said this because no one else got hurt. We got the green light. My gut felt like it turned round and round when I jumped. It was very fun. (☺)

Bad Food

Indiana — not much to it except one thing: bad food. And I mean it. One fateful night my moms and I were looking for food for dinner. We found a Subway and a Burger King. One of my moms got an Impossible Whopper and I got a sub. We both hated our food because it did not taste at all like what we usually get. Later that night, we got root beer floats at A&W. It was all ice cream. This was bad because I like my floats more with more root beer. Since I begged my moms to buy me a Minute Maid lemonade they said yes. We looked in every store and none of them had Minute Maid lemonade. (☹)